First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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