Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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