everyone is single if you try hard enough
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
