i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this will be a night to untag.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize