I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
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You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
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So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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