It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
