are you still at the devil's house?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
