He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
