And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
