he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
