I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
