Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
