i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
