Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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