I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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