He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
