I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Someone came in the potted fern
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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