what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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