You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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