he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
