just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
