mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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