this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Be still, my beating vagina.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
