Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
