Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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