I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
