hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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