I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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