at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
