1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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