Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize