i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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