Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
