spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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