You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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