She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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