ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
