Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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