I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
