He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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