I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
