Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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