Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize