I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
