STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
NoShamevember. You game?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
