Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize