Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
