you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
