just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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