Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
