Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
