You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they need to just BURY HIM!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
