I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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