Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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