I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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