Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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