We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Even my vagina gasped.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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