You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
