I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
