maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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