This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
