Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
