you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
