So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
