i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
