I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
