Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
